Friday, June 2, 2017

Kidding Around

Kidding Around
Bobby Derie
The detective had been drinking. In the long lull as one bartender cashed out and another came in, he told me a story.
"We caught this guy once soliciting with a fucking petting zoo worth of goats in the back of his van. And video equipment. Let him sweat for a while, he says he's been paid a lot of money to make these bestiality videos. Client was very specific. So the DA cuts him a deal, he rolls over on the client. We get the warrants sorted out, go pick him up. That's where it gets weird."
He ran a finger around the edges of the glass, and rubbed the salt into his gums.
"When we're arresting him, he almost has a heart attack when he sees us, but then we start reading the charges and he busts out laughing. At the word 'bestiality' he breaks down in tears of joy happy, laughing his ass off all the way through booking. Because that's just misdemeanors in this state."
"As opposed to what?"
"Felony possession of child pornography, among other things. We go back to the guy with the goats, and it turns out the client had hired him to make 'kid flicks.' Goat-boy had misunderstood what the client wanted."

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